I left my husband with $3 in my account after he racked up $40K in debt on Pokemon cards. How can I protect my finances?
I left my husband with $3 in my account after he racked up $40K in debt on Pokemon cards. How can I protect my finances?.
Money problems can put serious strain on any relationship, especially when one partner's spending habits start affecting the entire household.
Imagine Ashley, for example. Ashley's husband, Jay, has a Pokémon card collection that has gone from a casual hobby to a financial crisis. The couple had been married for 10 years when she learned Jay had accumulated about $40,000 in credit card debt.
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The discovery forced them to refinance their home, raising their mortgage payment from about $750 a month to $1,060.
Jay told Ashley he wanted to fix his reckless spending. He closed his credit card and even agreed to try therapy, but Ashley says he stopped going after one week. Meanwhile, the purchases didn't stop.
In the eight months that followed, Ashley says Jay spent more than $8,000 on Pokémon cards. At the same time, they had no savings left and Jay's bank account was overdrawn.
Then Ashley lost her job, one she'd held for almost 12 years. She had been bringing in about $5,000 more per year than Jay and losing that paycheck put even more pressure on the household. Her savings account balance is at $3.
When Jay recently came home with two more packs of Pokémon cards, Ashley knew she couldn't continue living this way. She's now moving forward with a divorce, has spoken with a realtor and plans to put the house on the market.
For Ashley, the next challenge is figuring out how to rebuild after years of financial strain — starting with just $3 in savings.
Ashley is going to have some tough financial decisions to make in the weeks ahead.
The first one is protecting the money she does have. If her finances are still connected to Jay's, she may want to open a bank account in her own name and make sure any income or benefits she receives are deposited there.
"Separate all financial accounts as much as possible and do not share access to them," Lili Vasileff, a CFP and certified divorce financial analyst, told Moneywise. She also recommends changing passwords on financial accounts if a spouse has access and putting instructions in writing with financial institutions about how joint accounts can be accessed.
Ashley will also need a clear picture of what she can afford on her current income. That means looking at the bills that keep a household running — the mortgage or rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, insurance, medical expenses — and figuring out what has to be paid first.
Vasileff also said people preparing for divorce should know exactly what it costs them to live, identify all sources of income and make a list of all assets and debts, including who legally owns each one and the current value.
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This is not the time to worry about things like retirement contributions or building a large emergency fund . For someone starting with only a few dollars in savings, the immediate focus is staying current on essential bills and avoiding taking on more debt.
